Big Boy Chair

Here is the solution (albeit temporary) to our little grabby-grabby Bam Bam situation. And it is a necessity too, as JJ is eating solids more frequently. Here is our little man. He is growing so fast, and yet he looks so tiny in his big boy chair!

Look at what I can do!

I realize it has been a while since I last posted. We all have been very busy. Not to mention that a dream of mine to run my own business was very close to becoming a reality, as in it was going to be happening within a couple of months or so. We were all caught up in the whimsy of possibility, and we almost for got (or should I say I almost forgot) what was important.

All last week was spent in front of the computer. I was busy doing "research" for my business, making appointments to scout out possible locations and attending classes at Waukesha Tech. to learn what I need to do to make things happen. Meanwhile, Joseph had some developments of his own going on...I almost missed them!

For starters, I would leave him on the floor in his gym nearby while I was on the computer. I would turn back after a couple of minutes only to find him flipped over and facing a totally different direction. That's right. He regularly rolls over from back to tummy now, and I have only seen him do it once.

In addition, he is growing to be a very strong boy! "Ow!" is a word heard much more often around the Myers household these days, especially while Joseph is playing with mommy's hair. He has become so coordinated and strong that I wonder how he has managed not to pull it all out. He also has become like Bam Bam in that he loves to bang on things (including mommy's head and face).

He is very clever. When we put him in his bumbo on the table we make a point of leaving a couple of toys on his lap so that he is not tempted to grab non-toys. However, his favorite thing to play with is our basket full of bills. He loves to pull it, grab things out of it and dump it over. If the telephone or DS is on the table, those too become his favorite playthings. I tried to fool him by giving him my old cell phone to play with...the joke was on me. It was as if he knew and took no interest in it at all!

My dream job is still in the works, only it isn't going to happen yesterday. After some serious consideration we all decided that I should really slow down a bit. I have to admit that it is a relief to know that I can go back to focusing (at least for now) on what is really important: spending my time with my boy, watching him grow, and being grateful that we have this time together.

JJ's Future Wife

We met the Schwenzen's newest addition last week. We forgot to take pictures in the hospital of little Hadley Margaret, but click the link above so you can see her. Isn't she a doll!

Yum.

Rice Cereal Attempt 2: Subject appears to still be depositing more of food matter onto face than what actually ends up in desired orifice. Take this to mean subject is not yet prepared for such a transition. Will proceed with new attempts weekly...

Getting Over Myself: A Tale from the Dad Side

WIthout a doubt, I have decided that there are three Great Things that have happened to me thus far in my life: Being born into an amazing family, meeting/marrying Melissa, and contributing to the creation and birth of our amazing son, Joseph James. And underlying everything: Great and supportive friends. I am a very lucky man, indeed. Lucky, and, to be honest, a bit confused. Just when I thought I had my brain wrapped around this whole marriage thing (not an easy task, especially when the likes of me is mixed with a wonderful force of nature like Melissa), here comes Joseph. My partial namesake. A healthy, happy boy. An amazing son through whom I can vicariously live. A reason for being.

To a certain extent, I’ve been able to charm my way through life, but those days are behind me... aren’t they? Please, God, let them be far behind me. I am done with the selfishness and I am thankful! All I want is to be a good husband and father. All I want is to be half the men that my brother and father are. I want to be a role-model of the highest caliber. But wait a minute: Isn’t there anything I NEED? Shouldn’t I need all of these things, like one needs oxygen or love? Or, are my wants and needs the same? Maybe this is what it’s like to Be A Man. I think I’ve finally gotten a good choke-hold on my two main demons – Alcohol abuse and living with Multiple Sclerosis – but they’re not dead yet. These will be things I deal with for the rest of my life and, believe it or not, I am thankful. These challenges will be on my shoulders forever, keeping me humble and honest. I am fallible. There is no Sun hidden inside of me, casting light on the world and coloring it Joe. Now the Sun is My Son, coloring everything Joseph. Selfishness be damned! I am no longer an island.

But... can’t I play my video games and read my comic books and have a couple of beers without feeling a sharp pang of guilt? Am I so desperate to hold on to my past that I am denying its slow death? Or am I allowed to be young at heart and still be a Good Man? Need or Want? Dramatic or honest?

WHO AM I?

Will my wife love and respect me until the day we die? Will my son look up to me and think I’m strong and cool and fun, all the while respecting the fact that I am his father? Will this stupid, nagging phantom that is MS finally get the better of me?

(I’ll never forget seeing a semi on I-43 proudly proclaiming: “MS Carriers: Delivering Your Future”)

...

As I write this, my son is looking at me with love in his eyes, as if to say “Stop, Dad. Just stop. Mom and I will always love you.”

How could I think otherwise? There is no other shoe and it will not drop.

Greetings From the Naughty Corner

Ah, it is the age old debate between and among parents of what to protect their children from, and what to expose them to. For the most part, Joe and I agree; we will be moderately liberal in our exposure of the real world to our children. We share a similar beloved memory of seeing "The Shining" uncut at a very young age. It is still one of our favorite movies. And I think back fondly to a time when my father sat me down in front of the television at age five to watch Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. I may have been curled up under a blanket on the floor in the fetal position for the duration of the video but I will be darned if the next thing I asked for from my parents wasn't the "Thriller" album!

One area that is a little more gray for us is language. When do we start to censor ourselves in front of Joseph, and what words to censor? Now don't get me wrong, I don't plan on prancing around and spouting George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words in front of my kids, nor any of the other big forbiddens, but there are a few others that have emerged as no-no's in this day and age that come as a surprise to me. Words like "stupid" and "hate."

As kids, we were not protected from such words in our household and I still turned out okay (at least I think so). But, yesterday at a friends house I let the word "stupid" slip in front of the hostess's 4 year old daughter. The little girl reprimanded me "don't say 'stupid'!" and then asked her mother if I needed to go to the Naughty Corner among eruptions of laughter by the other guests. It brought me back to a rather unpleasant memory of reading a book as a child and having an adult correct me when I came across that same word in the text: "it's 'silly', Missy, not 'stupid'." Oh, the shame I felt at knowing that I did something wrong, but not even realizing I had done it until the damage was done. I don't want Joseph to ever know that shame.

So that brings me back to my original questions. Guessing by my 4-year-old disciplinarian's reaction, the time to censor myself is now. And what words to censor? That is not so much up to me as it is up to the parents of the children that my kids will interact with. So now it is the responsibility of all the other little dilinquents at daycare or on the playground to expose young Joseph to such "naughty" words, not mine! I ponder these things and more from my self-imposed punishment in the Naughty Corner...