On the Verge of a Tantrum

MY WORLD

First this:

I sometimes take for granted how lucky I am to have Joe as my husband, I guess not every woman has a husband who takes over as mommy when mommy needs a break...

Joe gets up with me every night, all three times (still) when Joseph wakes up crying for a feeding. He doesn't groan, or sigh, or complain. Without having to ask he just gets up and stumbles half-asleep into Joseph's room and brings him to me. Then he burps him and puts him back.

Joseph is going through a phase (at least I hear that it is only a phase) where he prefers mommy. But still, every evening after he gets home from a long day of work Joe feeds Joseph his supper, plays with him, and tries to put this screaming inconsolable bundle to bed (even though he won't without me) just to give me some time to myself!

Joe has made it his personal responsibility to ensure that we have a clean kitchen; 'nuf said.

I am still carrying around some baby weight. Most days I still don't have time to do my hair or put on makeup. I have traded my wardrobe of trendy, feminine, hip stuff in for cargos, jeans and tees (often decorated in baby food and drool). But he never forgets to tell me, every day, how beautiful he thinks that I am.

To a wonderful husband, father, and best friend: Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve you. Thank you so much for your patience, and persistence, and for putting up with me. Happy, happy, happy Fathers' Day. I LOVE YOU!!!

Next this:

It continues to hit me, day after day, how different my life is now that I am a parent. It wasn't so long ago that I would patiently struggle to take an interest and listen to my friends with kids as they would drone on and on about their children. I vowed never to be that kind of parent. I would maintain some semblance of my former self and would take care not to bore the childless with mundane details about my parenting life. But instead, now I find that often I just can't help myself. I spew minutiae about my son left and right to anyone who is willing to listen...and even more surprisingly I find that if someone doesn't care about my son, well, I plain don't care about them!

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am mean?

All the same, Joseph and Joe are my world, my life, and everything that I live for. I can't imagine my life without them. I dont want to, and I don't know how I ever was such a selfish, self centered person before I had them in my life (that's not to say that I am not still selfish and self-centered in some ways). I just can't believe how much growing up just happens to you when you become a parent. I think I like it!

Big Bag, Little Boy