Things I Know Now

I got this idea recently at a baby shower. Someone had the novel idea to have all the guests write down a bit of advice for the mother-to-be and presented them to her in an album. I came up with a very cliche nugget of wisdom, but after hearing some of the other pieces of advice offered up by the guests it occurred to me that I know all kinds of weird things and practical bits now that I didn't then. Here are just few (consider this advice if you are considering parenting a very young person):

1) Contractions remind me most of really bad food poisoning I had once in Dublin.
2) Giving birth makes you HUNGRY (those prenatal books don't lie) as in "I could eat cold leftovers off of the floor" hungry.
3) If you need to cheer up a bit, use a breast pump-you might find the first few uses to be endlessly amusing.
4) Nursing is a HUGE commitment. Going anywhere for longer than 2 hours (for the first 3 months) without baby is tricky because even if you know that the baby has plenty of milk somewhere else, your breasts do not.
5) The best programming to be found between 2-4am is on either BBC America or Noggin.
6) We would never watch TV anymore if it weren't for DVR.
7) Being a mother does not mean that you neglect your own needs. It is difficult to care for a baby if you are not well-rested and taken care of yourself!
8) It is a good idea to keep a stroller in your house. When all else fails to calm your fussy baby, pushing them around in one will probably work.
9) Folds of baby flesh go deep. Pay special attention to the almost nonexistent neck whilst washing baby.
10) Do not purchase/use cradle cap ointment, (if you see Pooh characters on the label back away slowly) especially if your baby has a lot of hair. That is unless you like the smell of Aqua Net on your baby for a week or more.

Nothing Stinks About Our Baby

Its all good.

Take That!

I'll be brutally honest here. Things were not easy for me after Joseph was born. The adjustment to motherhood was no more or less difficult than I had expected, but I just didn't feel right for a few weeks. I could have easily ignored my feelings (or lack thereof) but I didn't, I got help and now I feel just like me again, only with child. That is so much better than I could have expected!

In addition to these baby-induced changes in me, I am also (finally) dealing with a lot of other issues as well. None of these are issues are exclusive, mind you, they are all linked. One of these issues is my social anxiety.

It seemed to come out of nowhere, and for no good reason sometime about midway through my undergraduate studies. It was far less frequent or intense then, but it came to be around that time just the same. Over the years it has come and gone, spurred on by many random and unexpected triggers. Lately it has intensified again to the point where seeing my family and friends (who I am very familiar with) has even caused me to turn into a ball of nerves.

I have been given a project. Go to the local family resource center play group four times. I went for the first time last week. In the morning I got up, showered, had my coffee, and was getting ready to go. Oh, no, there go those gut feelings again...but they are different this time. Could that be...excitement?!

I went and it was no big thing. As a matter of fact there was only one other mother there, a woman from Austria who was very nice and I am looking forward to seeing her again. I emerged from my initial experience triumphant. I signed up for another mommy group and am anxiously awaiting the end of the week when I will make my second attempt at the play group.

Joseph and I went out into the world 4 times last week which is some kind of record for us. I feel great, I feel better than great. I feel like me again. Take that, social anxiety!

Joseph James the Two-Faced Boy

 Gotta love it!

Mommy's Hair

My hair has become Joseph's new favorite plaything. I don't recall how I made this discovery exactly, I only know that he reacts to my hair dangling in his face or brushing against it with delight. It has become one of our little games. I dangle my hair in his face and he squeals, sighs, and his arms and legs move spasmodically. I find it to be very flattering and endearing, unless it turns ugly. On more than one occasion I have had to call on Joe to assist me in disengaging Joseph's little fists from my hair. Once he had handfuls on either side of my head, he pulled me close to him and was (involuntarily...I think) kicking my head repeatedly. Afterward, I ask myself "why does he like my hair so much" as I run a hand through my abused mane finding little wet spots here and there from where he attempted to eat it.

Apparently it is only my locks that Joseph reacts to in this way as both G-ma M and Dad have tried to elicit the same response from him without consequence. Maybe my hair just tickles him, or he loves it because it smells like mom?! Regardless of the reason, this seems to be his current passion (could have saved a fortune on toys)!

Happy Birthday to Me!

When we got home from a weekend in Cedarburg Sunday evening the phone rang around 8pm. I looked at the CID and saw that it was my sister calling. I thought to myself "Jeez, why is she calling so late?" I picked up the phone and she said she just had to make sure that she wished me a Happy Birthday. "Oh, yeah" I thought, "that's right, today is my birthday." I had to keep reminding myself all day. Earlier in the day I had been to a friends baby shower and at one point I recall standing in her kitchen and thinking to myself "what is the date today?...Oh yeah, the 7th (duh!)." I don't mean to imply that I didn't have a good birthday, I only mean to convey how different things are and how much my priorities have changed.

My mother-in-law shares the same birthdate as me, so we have made it a tradition for the four of us to go out to dinner. We did that again this year, only we did it on the 6th, and there were five of us this time. It was really nice indeed. I even got some wonderful gifts this year. A Nintendo DS, a gift certificate, and also a lovely necklace that I have been longing-for for some time now. And it didn't even bother me when I found my necklace dangling, broken from my neck the day after I received it (I was able to fix it later). This year I was almost more tickled by the cards I received than the gifts...but I say almost. It is amazing how things change...

Happy Holidays

This year the holidays blew by so quickly. Everything happened so fast, and they were really unlike any others before. We managed to get a small fake tree up and lit, but only one ornament made it to the tree, a gift from our friends the Schwenzens (expecting their first in Feb.) that was a special gift celebrating Joseph's first Christmas. I managed to wrap most of the gifts one frenzied afternoon, but Joseph's were unceremoniously presented to him in their original packaging (I am sure he didn't mind). There were a lot of little things, traditions, etc. that just didn't happen this year, but I wouldn't have had it any other way because this year we had the best gift of all: our son Joseph. It didn't really hit me until I realized that for the first time I wasn't the one getting the most presents (nor did I even care about presents). No, our son made out like a bandit this year. It was a great feeling after years of being jaded by the holidays to have a new reason to be happy and a very new perspective on love and family.

On the 23rd we went to Joe's parents house and spent some time with them, Andy and Jane, and their family. I got the privilege to witness Joseph and and his little cousin Ellie smile at each other after the gift opening and just before a family picture was taken. It was a special moment that I will remember for a long time. As usual we had a great time.

Then we were off to my parents house where we stayed overnight, through Christmas Eve, and then home on Christmas day. We had a lovely time there as well, and we got to spend some time with my sister, her husband, and my new nephew Ian.

The best part by far was finally meeting my little nephew Ian. He is only a week older than Joseph but I swear that kid knows everything. He gets the wisest most thoughtful expression on his face, especially when he was watching Joseph fuss and cry. It was like he was concerned and was wondering if there was anything he could do to help. The two cousins couldn't be more different. Ian is practically bald, he has huge eyes, and his crys sound completely different. Ian either grunts or lets out high pitched screams while Joseph is somewhere in between, but after spending some time around Ian he has begun to pick up the scream. There were a couple of special bonding moments when the two boys would look at each other and smile or reach out for the others hand, it was very sweet.

We had Monica, Scott and Ian come up to visit us in the Falls over night, as well as seeing them at my parents house on Christmas Eve. When the four of us would get together in the past (Monica, Scott, Joe and myself) we would have such a blast and we would be laughing the whole time. It was really nice to spend some special time with them when they came to our house, but I must admit that it was hard this year not to be able to just sit back, relax, have a few beers and joke around like we used to. I had very little time to talk to just Monica without distraction, but I am sure as the boys get older we will all have some more time together again.

To all of our family, close friends and loved ones, we hope your holidays were wonderful and we look forward to seeing or hearing from you in the new year!