Little Faker

A couple of weeks ago Oprah had an Australian woman as a guest on her show who has a sort of photographic sound memory. Through experience with her own child, and because of her special gift, she claims she has uncovered the secret language of babies. According to her, there are five universal "pre-cries" that babies make regardless of culture, language, or race. There is one for hunger, one for discomfort, one for upper gas, lower gas, and one for sleepiness. I recorded that episode and I must have rewound and re-listened to each of those cries a hundred times.

The day after the episode aired, I was convinced that JJ would have a virtually cry-free day. I was confident that as soon as he began to fuss I would know exactly what he needed and how to fix it. The day started off alright: first he was hungry and I fed him, then he needed a burp and I burped him. But then he let out the "lower gas" cry, the only one for which there is nothing you can do to help him. So I held him and stroked his back in an attempt to let him know that I was there and he is loved. But then a discomfort cry snuck in, and then a burp cry, and wait...is he hungry, too?! By mid afternoon I was crying as well. I guess there is no fix-all when it comes to newborns.

A couple of weeks have passed now, and Joe and I have gotten much better at knowing what JJ needs when he needs it. It is only partially due to the Oprah lady, and mostly can be attributed to time, experience, love and intuition. I think JJ can sense that we understand him better, because a new era has begun in JJ language: the Fake Cry!

I wish I could record it and play it for you here. It sounds something like "Ah-owww-uh...(pause)...Waaaaaa-uh-huuu-ah! Waaaaaiii-uh-owwwuh!" We hear it all the time now and it makes us laugh, but the first time I heard it I came running to him and asked "What is wrong, do you need mommy?" He immediately stopped, looked at me and smiled. Little Faker.