Tuesday, October 17, 2006

No, Thank You

I know that I can't possibly express in words what Joe means to me, certainly not as eloquently as he expressed what I mean to him. Simply put Joe saved me. As many of our close friends know it hasn't been easy for me to get over or deal with the demons of my past. When Joe and I met I was on a potentially destructive path both emotionally and physically. What Joe provided for me was an opportunity for the first time in my entire life to shamelessly be who I really and truly am.

I used to be a very insecure and sensitive person with very aggressive tendencies. I had internalized a "bad girl" persona that made me feel guilty and worthless. Now, I'm not cured completely but Joe helps me see and understand where these irrational feelings come from and he helps me realize that I don't have to go through life feeling that way. He makes me feel like I am the person who I have always tried to be: a good person, a nice girl.

Joe is my role model. He exhibits everything that I want to and try to be. When we were first getting to know each other I would constantly be blown away by the sheer number of people who just LOVE Joe. He has such wonderful friends, many of whom I am proud to call my friends now too. But even all their mothers and siblings and extended families love Joe. This was completely foreign to me but if you know Joe than it should come as no surprise. I never knew someone could be so genuine and selfless and I felt special to be the person who he chose to be with. Sometimes I still feel that I don't deserve him.

I am proud to be the mother of his son, a son who is beginning to look more and more like him every day. Now I have two Joes to spend my life with. How did I get to be so lucky?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

with tears in my eyes, I write: you're not lucky . . . you more than deserve any and all happiness and good fortune that come your way because we ALL love you.